Thursday, April 13, 2017

Lessons for life

There are people who always give advice. Yet only a very few stick on and stay for a really long time, if not forever. In my recollections, there were few that were really mindset altering.

 First one, about which I had mentioned it previously as well, was the comment of my manager. It was such a slap on the face - shake you out of reverie - top of the mountain sermon kind of a scene that makes me pause for a quick breath. I am not sure, if he ever realized the impact it had on me, but that again was never the point. Probably it was one of the few times that I actually listened rather than just hear maybe.  Ivlo buildup kuduthutu apdi ennathaanya sonnaru nu kekaravaganlukaaga, "Had you been on the other side of the table, would you've tolerated this?". The scene was my interview with an account manager and my manager had accompanied me. I had worn a V-neck full hand tee shirt and dirty white cargoes. The moment my manager saw me, he was giving bad words by his looks itself. During the interview I was at my casual best while answering questions and literally it never felt like an interview. I was super confident that it went well, only for the bashing to begin right after we stepped out. I was confused why he was upset for I was pretty sure I had aced it. He simply said the above mentioned statement. What I had unconsciously did in the garb of being casual had been to meddle with my phone, when the conversation was not involving me, rocking back and forth on my chair like see-saw and the attire, above all. He made his point in just one sentence, would I've selected myself had I been sitting on the other side, for my attitude would've looked haughty and arrogant at best, even though that wasn't the intention. Even if I had been to any other interview, I would've been like how I attended this session and would've never realized my mistake, for I never thought it was one. But the point that hit hard was, how I would've perceived someone with similar approach. Whether right or wrong, it was an honest answer that I could never convince myself with. From that day onwards, the very way I sit on chair itself underwent a transition. And I started noticing for these cues on those sessions that I conduct to validate his point every single time. It also begin to self apply itself on many other life situations where the question of "how it would've felt from other side" became omnipresent and whenever the answer was not self satisfactory, I started making efforts to correct myself.

Next one was a post on Facebook. A simple statement nevertheless that said, "the issue that screwed your whole day might've just been few minutes in time". Meaning, of the entire 24 hours, we allowed a few minutes blip to mess up the remaining time. Might sound so simple. But when one applies it to situations, it really takes a whole load of stress off your neck and enables to look forward to rest of the day. The final one was a story that I had read a long time back. A student asks his guru why people shout at each other when angry. "Ennada ithu kena paya pola kekkara" nu kattaiyaala naalu saathama, that guru replied that, when angry, people can't hear their inner voices speak. That's why they raise their voice above the noise of ego. And at same time when in love, they don't even have to speak while mere looks convey all the needful. Again, way too simple a statement. But I've witnessed and realized this on many occasions. Probably if it touched the same way for any of you reading this, you can share your experience as well :)

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