Friday, June 05, 2015

Close encounters of the alien kind

The sky blinked.

At least to the onlookers that's how it looked. It was as if a ferry wheel had gone horizontal in space with serial lights abound. Some of the colours emanating from the light source didn't even had any names in known human history. It drew all kinds of crowd of onlookers, those who were spooked with curiosity, adventure, thrill and sheer fear of what's going to happen next. Science station call desks were ringing non stop and all government agencies were on high alert. The space craft hovered across the continents and decided to send their alien representative to make an assessment of which country to make the landing. After a short while the representatives gathered back with their feedback.

The alien that went to America had a transporter software malfunction and it landed in a movie theatre. It was surprised to find that the Americans had already predicted its arrival and had in fact made a movie out of it!! That alien character in the movie had a weird hairdo and bulging eyes and was looking nothing like their clan. It went to lady Gaga show, had the shock of its life and nearly fainted looking at her wardrobe. Some of the Americans were more weird than any of the life forms it had met in other planets. In fact, it learned more about their culture and land from Americans, who for some reasons were so fond of aliens. Then it went to the famed area 51 which was a secret place known to everyone in America. When it landed, the immigration official handed a form which had several categories for alien listed in it, which confirmed its belief that USA is already taken over by aliens.

The alien that went to China got arrested and couldn't reach out to the mother ship. All possible modes of communication were blocked and the state news agency Xinhua carried a 4 line article on a possible American spy trying to create trouble.

The alien that went to Russia went missing and was believed to be in Siberian labour camp. While the rumour in Moscow was that Putin has taken the alien as hostage and is discussing deal with the mother ship that the aliens should agree to erect a statue of Putin in alien garb and to give a written statement that he is the greatest, which would be promptly snubbed by the western media.

The alien that went to Europe got lost in translation. It took a short nap on Eurostar and whenever it woke up it was in a different country. It came back astounded that a country that is no bigger than few streets cobbled together was once the empire of the world!! It rushed back to the mother ship with this critical information.

The alien that landed in middle east was stoned to death for not sporting a beard.

The aliens in the mother ship, were eagerly awaiting the return of the one that went to India. It didn't come for a long time. While there was a debate about launching a possible rescue mission, one of the aliens secretly released the news about missing alien to India media. Rest was history. The leading English channels all ran twitter campaigns as to how in the current government, aliens and minorities of any form are insecure. There were candle light vigils, news hour debates and some even went to the extent of ordering for a CBI enquiry, which scared the heck out of the aliens who were marvelling at the super powers bestowed with CBI!!! The entire charade went for 2 days and the moment India Bangladesh cricket series began, everything were forgotten. The aliens cursing themselves, re-sent the rescue team who found the missing alien happily residing in Lutyens lane in New Delhi. When enquired, it said the residing MP had taken bribe and has given his residence for rent to the alien. It had even got  Aadhar card and had opened bank account for gas subsidy. It suggested fellow aliens to settle in India, open a new party and contest in next general elections.

Satyameva Jayate.


Ramesh said...

Ha Ha ha ha. I now have to find a cure for belly ache :)

Well done Gilsu. Superb post.

gils said...

:D:D nanni nanni