F.R.I.E.N.D.S - V
"Cough..What the heck happened here...cough cough...why is the fire alarm ringing" rushes in Rachel.
"Well..err..i kept the tea pot and forgot to switch off the stove..its all burnt" mumbles Joey..scratching his head.
"Oh..damn it..somebody throw a wet towel....NOT ON ME...at the alarm" cries Chandler at Phoebe, who is even more irritated to find Joey smiling to himself.
"Why are you smiling u moron"
"When you burn Tea..it becomes burn't'...burnt...now.. that's the way they should teach grammar in school" beams Joey pleased with his discovery.
Phoebe throws the towel on Joey who ducks and it falls on Monica, who enters the house carrying plateful of pastries. She loses balance and everything falls flat on the floor.
Both Phoebe and Monica cry in unison.
"I cried for dropping the pastries..What are you crying for??" asks a bewildered Monica
"hmmm...err...scared of what you will say?.." says Phoebe sheepishly.
"oh..cmon...after all those nagging hours of listening to Ross's issues..i thought i will reward myself with a cake..guess it was not on my destiny to have my cake and eat it too"
"Issues!! He always has an yearly subscription of them" quips Chandler
"What happened?..cough..cough" enquires Rachel with a staccato of coughs.
Before Monica could narrate, Ross enters. And to every ones shock he is sporting a crew cut.
"And I repeat myself to the other sibling...What happened"
"Well...coupla decades back someone happened..and now this" Ross referring to Monica.
"Someone happened what?" queried Joey not grasping the point as usual.
Chandler tries to help "someone" pointing with his eyebrows "happened"
"Ok..either we are calling Monica as "someone" from now on or you have a very weird way of expressing" wonders Joey
"oh..come on..how can i be at fault"
"LOOOK AT THIS" cries Ross pointing to his head.
"Yikes..not so close Ross..you almost blinded me with those...with those...sharp sinewy thing on your head.." quips Rachel.
"Asking for style tips from Mon is like getting directions from a star fish!!" says Rachel.
"And it took you so long to reveal that "secret" " cries an annoyed Ross.
"Actually they look like deep fried noodles" says Joey and hurriedly hides behind Monica to avoid Ross's glare.
"When i said how stupid can you be, after your previous escapade..did you took it as a challenge" mocks Chandler
"HA HA...very funny..i knew i lost my mind when i accepted your wife's suggestion and i am pretty sure she took it"
"So much for trying to bring style into your life" says Monica.
"See this is why i never argue with Monica. Its like getting arrested. Anything you say can and will be used against you" says Chandler hearing which Monica punches him. He zips his mouth shut to avoid further damage.
Rachel starts coughing very badly.
"Oh..Rach..you got to do something for that cough"
"Yeah..you are beginning to sound like Morse code..all your words are punctuated with coughs"
"I want to..but it gives my voice a sexy sound..makes me feel hot"
"The last time i looked hot..i was on a sauna..." says Chandler and watching everyone looking at him "i always mean what i say..just i don't mean to say it aloud" does the lip zipping act and sulks.
"You should see Doctor Richard..let me book an appointment for you with him..." offers Monica.
"No..cough.. No No No..cough.. and NO..cough...believe me i can live with this cough...the only thing that i can live within or without..cough... is my SALARY..its not even the first week of the month and i am broke bone dry..cough"
"Sing the "Star spangled banner" without a single cough..i will give you 100 dollars" challenges Ross
"Oh say..cough..you see..by the cough..early light" and Rachel breaks into more coughs.
"Sounded more like Star Strangled banner...you've to get treatment..at this rate..your lungs will pop out of your mouth"
"Rach..its high time..you better visit Dr. Richard..let me take you on my medical insurance..you can pay me later"
"Oh Joey..thats sweet..cough.. of you...see... you fellas...cough....THIS is friend..cough..ship" beams a proud Rachel..coughing all over Joey in the process.
"Yeah..you know..while we are at it..you may not want to talk..let me go and take a quick shower" rushes out Joey.
At the clinic.
"Hey..you look familiar..do i know you" asks the receptionist.
"Well..i am a tv star from DAYS OF OUR LIVES" says Joey proudly.
Unconvinced with the answer..she leaves behind with a quizzical look on her face.
"Hey Rach..let me help you fill the form"
"Oh..Joey..thank you so much..you are a dear"
"ok...name" and Joey waits for Rachel and looks at her. Watching the confused reaction on her face he realises quickly and covers up saying "i mean..i know your name.. is Rachel..but asked your middle name"
"Its Karen..cough...its Karen..K as in knife"
Joey writes Naren.
"Joeyy...cough..its Karen...starts with K"
"If it starts with K why you said Nife...you should work on your words lady..so anything else has changed..like your address"
"No..i still stay with Phoebe..rememberrrrr"
"your phone number?"
"oh..yeah..you would've told me if it had right...ok...your date of birth?"
"cough..from what i remembered last..it hasnt changed"
"well you can't be sure.." winks Joey
"Oh..crappp...you are worse than the cough...and by the way..Rachel is not pronounced RAYCHAL" and grabs the form from him.
"hey...your cough sounds ok now" says Joey
"Yeah..have been practising it all day and night" says an annoyed Rachel and bursts into sporadic coughing.
"oh..cmon Rach..let me do it for you..i promise i would be more careful..ok..here we go..any history of heart trouble?" asks Joey
At the very instant Dr. Richard comes out of his clinic and asks his receptionist to send the next patient in.
"Is that Dr. Richard" asks Rachel
"Yeah..Rach..any history of heart trouble" asks Joey
"I guess i would be having one from now" says Rachel dreamily and enters the clinic.
"Hey...so..hmm." looks at her sheet and says "Rachel...how are you doing today" asks Richard
"I am cough..fine..cough" says Rachel with a dreamy smile.
"Unless you are used to using cough as a punctuation mark, i guess that is what you came here for"
"oooh...you are so funny" laughs Rachel hysterically coughing all the way. Knowing that it was not that big a joke it makes Richard uncomfortable. Noticing which Rachel apologises.
"I am sorry"
"ohh..no no no ..i am sorry..i am always the shy type you see. You know of all the genes they gene for shyness was the one found last. You know why?"
"It was so shy that it was hiding behind other genes"
Rachel stares at Richard.
"I wouldnt mind you laughing Rachel"
"Oh Thank god..that joke was killing me" and laughs and coughs all over Richard again.
"On a scale of 1 to 10..10 being the highest..how bad you would rate your cough"
"oh..sorry..i am never good with maths..are you always this good looking" wonders Rachel with a dreamy look.
After the session is over Rachel comes out beaming and smiling. "Oh. Joey..this was the best session ever i had with a doctor..right next to the time i used to flu shots when my doctor gave me lollipops after each shot. This time even better..i got his phone number...yaayy"
"oh..nice..we better hurry" urges Joey.
"You see the receptionist there...i just remembered we used to date sometime back"
"oh..dont tell me you dumped her without calling"
"Worse..for a valentine's day...i was here for general check up and she mistook the package i had left on her desk as my gift for her"
"what was in that"
"My urine sample".
By this time, the receptionist realises who Joey is and shouts "Hey..Joey....i know you..."
"Run..Run..run for your life Rachel.." runs Joey with Rachel following him.