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The bigger of the halves

Last weekend i met my colleague and his wife on a supermarket. Even before i could say "hi" she gave me that look, which damilnaatu poleece like gabtun  reserve for theeviravaathis.

"Is this the one?" asked her, to which the hubby was non-committal, after which the tirade started. He gestured something to me from behind her, which i couldnt quite make out, but that he wanted me to keep quiet was very clear.

"Enpaa...neengalaam neram kaalam kedayaathu...eppo venumnaalum thoongalam pogalaam varalaam...ivara yen kedukareenga....rendu pasangalaachu...innum kooda chinna paiyannu nenapu manasula..athenna padam? 25 ya?"

"24" came the quiet correction from behind her.

"Rombaa mukkiyam..sathaa sarva kaalamum athey gathi nu ukaarara vendiathu. Nethu enna paneenganu sollatuma?"

Now i was really curious to know what happened. Knowing that i am going to pour more oil into the inferno, he waved frantically from behind not to open my mouth. But, intha mathiri chaancelaam adikadi kedaikuma :)

"Apdi ennanga pannaru?" nu appaviyaa asked.

"Night moonu mani. Ennada palichu palichunu light adikuthay paatha..TV paakaraar nu thittaren sollitu thirututhanama cellphone wifi la antha padatha paathitrukaar. vidia vidia padam paathutu kaalaila ezhupina uhumm...asainji kudukarathilla..ivaraala inniki farmer's market porathu ninnu poachu. Veetla poattu kaai illa. Ippo ivlo velai kudthu costlya vaanga vendi irukku. Ellaam ungalala varathu..neengallam padam paakrathu poraathu sollitu..ivaraiyum keduthu kuttichuvaraaki vachirukel"

I was trying my level best not to burst out laughing. En colleague paaka parithaabama irunthichi. The last time i ever got into a "conversation" like this was when i was at the other end and my schoolmate was at the receiving end of the blasting from my mom. He came home to take me for playing cricket and my mom went ballistic. Fast forward 2 decades, the story is still the same for guys, i guess. Except that mom is replaced with wife.

Avlo thittu thitittu, kadisila, suntv paakarathukaaga ROXHO player vaangitu ponaanga avar wife. Athaan uchhakatta comedy. The moment her head turned into the billing counter, he came rushing to us.

"Maganay, naalikku mattum officela itha pathi evan kityaachum pesina terinjuthu...jenmathukum unna India anuppa maaten".

Though the tempatation was too much to resist, the fear of not seeing my motherland was too much to succumb. And more than that, she invited all of us for dinner -Andhra special. Veerargal vaazhkaiyil ithelaam jagajam nu lighta thodaichipoatutu vegamaa mandai aaitified to accept the offer.

P.S: apdi enna irukku antha 24 series la nu yosikareengala. It deserves a special post in itself. Aduthathu athaan :D


RS said…
Gils, neenga nallavara kettavara?
Conversation-oda beginning-ey semmmaiya irukuthey??!! But, Ungala ellam innum epdi vittu vechirukraanga?? Pothaa koraiku veetuku vera kooptrukaanga??
Ramesh said…
Gilsu - see danger of falling into the trap all your readers are exhorting you to. Paavam friend !
Vincy said…
Had a good laugh reading your post.

Hopefully, you have no office friends reading your blog - otherwise there will be a common mail in everyone's mailbox with a cut copy paste of your post...
Asha said…
hulloooo.....ungalukku en ella friend's wife melleyum ivlo kaduppu.(idhukku munnadiyum neria vaati friends wife friendai archanai pannadai ezhidittteenga)

Irrunga...unga veetula solli modalla pillaiyarukku endha animal vandu first head a cut panni vecchangalo ....andha madiri mudalla endha elligible ponnu kidaikaralo avangala ivarodu thalaikku kattungonnu...ivarukku choice vidadeenganna sollren.

Konjam unga ootu number kodunga...unga ammakku pottu kodutthu andha nalla kariyatha panren.
gils said…
@athivasi madam:

terialaayeeeeeee................hehehhee...avanga rommmmmmmmmmbbbbbaaa nallavanga...athaan :D


aahkkaan thala..sokka soneenga
gils said…

hehehee...antha thappa ithu varaikum yaarum no tellings :D

@asha madam:

y this murder veri...etho ennaala aana nalla kaariyama thondu senjitu varen..athula gundu potruveenga polarukkay :D
gils said…
bye the bye..ungal exampilil pizhai ullathu...pullayaar bachelor saamiyaakum :D:D:D
Avada Kedavra said…
Gilsuuuuu.. you are only writing in tamil these days :( :( Missing your funny posts since I am not able to understand.. please write next post in English :(
Asha said…
@gils- pillaiyar bachelor samiyaa? avarukku siddhi buddhinnu rendu wives undu.. santoshi mata kettrukingala adhu avaroda daughter... pudhu kadhai ellam illa... pazhesu daan...

BTW....naangalum murder veri illai....engalukkum neenga unga wife kitta thittu vangara chinna aasai daan. very small see...LOL
gils said…
oooohhh....kathaiaya maathitaangala....aahaa...naan udha vaangarathula aandham adaiya naatla innoru aal extra aaitaanga...onnu koooditaangayyaa onnnu koooditaaangaaaa....avvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

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