For previous episodes click Part V
Chandler is busy chatting with his colleagues when his manager passes by. Worried whether he would've noticed him sitting idle, he tries to think of something meaningful of an activity. As expected the boss man calls Chandler to his room.
"Boss..before you ask me, I was brainstorming with the team, doing post-mortem on our failed project"
"Post-mortem...that's good. Make sure the report reaches me by today. Wait a minute!! Which project failed?"
"Err..hmm..you know right"
Sensing a trick question with a booby trap for a response, the boss decides to play it safe.
"Of course I know. So what was the reason for failure"
Caught unawares, Chandler hems and haws into a quick response "People"
"Oh. send me the list. Will fire them. Who are there in that."
"Well..err..there is this guy."
"What did he do"
"Almost every single decision of his was a link to Just for Laughs videos"
"What?!! how can one be so stupid. Who is he?"
At the coffee house:
Monica chimes in all happy and positive.
"heyyyy fellas...happy today to all of you"
"Some one sure had more than their share of coffee today!!" quips Phoebe
"Well..i have vowed to live by my motto LIVE FOR TODAY" exclaims Monica excitedly.
"Wow..little more of that and I've to live forever with broken ear drums"
"Chandleerr.....you funny man..you funny funny man" punches Monica
"Ouch.my funny bone just suffered an hairline fracture" cries Chandler
"Mon..you are still jobless right" queries Chandler
"Yeah...but who cares...LIVE FOR TODAY" yells Monica beginning to sound slightly deflated
"How do you avoid starving tomorrow if you live only for today? living in the present is a huge responsibility. One single mistake and your entire life is ruined"
"err..hmm..so should I live for the future?" asks a worried Monica
"No that would ruin your present..i recommend you live for the past" suggests Phoebe
"But I don't like my past"
"Well..you can pretend to be someone else..you can think of yourself as a princess from a fairy land...I would share my pet name from the past to you if you are interested"
"What is it"
"Princess Consuela Banana Hammock"
A confused looking Monica slumps onto the sofa.
"What is Chandler doing here at this time?"
"Taking some time off with Phoebes"
Gunther stares at Chandler and calls him to his counter. "Few more minutes I am going to charge you for boarding"
A bewildered Phoebe and Monica asks "how long have you been here?"
"Well ever since my boss fired me today morning" says Chandler and briefs her about the incident.
"But you know..you are..were.. the perfect employee" consoles Monica
"Duh.." groans Chandler and Phoebe. A confused looking Chandler glares and Phoebe who silently turns her head away.
"You've perfect attendance" justifies Monica
"If one subtracts the significant amount of time i spend in coffee house" grumbles Chandler.
"You've excellent technical skills"
"Yesterday I configured printer and my laptop crashed...but yeah..go ahead"
"You are too risk averse to start your own company with no social life and a constant need for approval for your work.." joins Phoebe
"Are we still on complimenting me topic?"
"Did I include all this being under paid? You were a perfect fit for that role like a foot in glove"
"STOP COMPLIMENTING ME" shouts Chandler and runs away from the Coffee house.
Ross and Rachel enters the shop.
"You take everything negatively" says Ross.
"What does that mean" counters Rachel angrily
"How did you react when i said you were photogenic"
"You meant that as if i don't look good in person"
"There it is people"
"There was what?"
"You turn even positive comments into negative"
"You mean to say i am a monster"
"YES" replies Phoebe,Monica and Ross in unison
"Good. That's the vibe i am going for. Got my appraisal discussion today. Bye Sweetie" rushes out Rachel.
"So Ross..whats up" queries Monica.
Ross starts listing down what he did from the time he woke up till the time he entered the shop.
"..and thus the key to success is having passion for what you do"
"You make a good point..I am outta here" starts Monica
"Me too" joins Phoebe
A bewildered looking Ross thinks "never knew they would listen"
"Caught me by surprise too" quips Gunther, who moves back to the counter after Ross frowns at him.
Joey enters the shop looking all rugged. People who sit near his chair starts moving away, unable to bear the stench.
"Hi Joe...WHOA...When did you last took bath" cries Ross
"Let me guess..today is 22nd..it was 10 days before..so from 3rd onwards" smirks Joey
"10 days prior mean..oh..what the heck..you stink worse than a dead dinosaur" gives up Ross
"Its called fragrance..a cute concoction of pepper spray and beef sauce"
"Yuck...May i care to ask why pepper spray?"
"Pepper spray is for me to build up an immunity to it"
"Strangely that is logical"
"Beef sauce is to draw chicks to me..presto. Joey the chick magnet" Joey exclaims lifting his hands.
Gunther gurgles and rushes to the loo while Ross pukes unable to bear the stench.
"Hmm...probably i need to tone it down a bit may be" shrugs Joey smelling himself.
Ross raises Thumbs up lying down and faints.