The mandatory year end post
Though titled mandatory, i actually didnt post one for past two years..hehe.
Now to what I kizhichified this year and what I plan to kizhichify next year.
This year was a year of change to say the least. Professionally and personally there were so many seeds of change that were sown which are eagerly awaited to bloom in coming years.
On the professional front, I often find myself to be at so much contradiction with my own self that I've accepted it as a personal norm. For a person who is super scared of the unforeseeable actions accompanying any change, I opt for it more than any regular person who speaks about accepting change whole heartedly. Blame it on the mind that gets bored quick. My love for routine is only rivaled by my dislike for the comfort it brings. In fact, doing routine stuff scares me to the extent that I keep jumping jobs frequently. Starting from scratch I come to a point where I can rest comfortably, only for the jump job construct to kick in. I don't want to get outdated and risk my profile every 4 years yet at the same time I long for consistency in what people do. Probably a corporate equivalent of "avangala nirutha sollu..naan nirutharen". The good woman Linda attributes this to my sun sign being Gemini. A psychological profile study criticizes it as a commitment phobic nature. A self study based on my own experience credits the inherent inferiority complex and yearning for acceptance by others as the reason. But one thing for sure I've come to recognize that, believe what I may want to, if one does it with all his heart, without a shred of doubt, its achievable. People with better command over the language can phrase it decently. But the gist I've learnt this year is, what looks like a huge leap on the positive side, warns not to look down to avoid vertigo. To climb any peak, rather than admiring the depth you've crossed, your only concentration should be on how far more you've to travel. The distance travelled doesn't matter when the summit is a for ever changing sign post. The place where we stamp the flag and decide that's it, is where it will be. As long as the mind wanders and heart yearns for more, the flag will never be set. Some time soon the rope called age will go taut and would start shooting warning signals. Till such time, hope the journey continues.
On the personal front, I've possibly the greatest responsibility a person can ever have in his lifetime. What am I going to teach my kid or learn from him. How will i secure his future and make his present enjoyable. What way I will repeat or repel the approach my parents had for me. I don't have any answers for any of these questions. I am sure they will be revealed when the time comes. I've a new circle of friends, who are selfless to say the least when it comes to helping the needy. Their vigour for doing things differently and going the extra mile without even a token sense of acknowledgement of any sort during the recent floods was an eye opener to say the least. Even if I imitate to an extent of all those good attributes it would be a wonderful start towards being a better person is what I believe. Hope it continues into the next year. The floods made many, including me, realize, the only thing that can survive any disaster of any form is humanity alone. No bridges, no money, no fame, no amount of wealth or power can save you. But if you extend your hand and allow it to reach the person in need, irrespective of the checklist mentioned above, you can play god for a while. The regularity with which roads cave in, land slides, un natural floods and ever severe droughts, scare the world I would be leaving and living in for my kid. Like always, hope the answers reaches before timeout.
To summarize, I want to be numerous person in a single frame, as always. Its not a resolution per se but an ever growing riddle called life which has answers only in hindsight.