The Great gamblers
Algorithm of an arranged marriage:
1) Check the foto if like it goto step 2
2) Check the horoscope if it matches goto step 3
3) Visit the gals/guys house for free snack session and have an officially sponsored violation of privacy with the sort of questions that would've made you beet red in anger had the situation been anything otherwise.
4) If step 3 finishes satisfactorily..get the 2 bakras married!!!
There are many people around who dont believe in placing bets or who consider gambling as an evil. But still they have no qualms in going in for an arranged marriage. It still beats me..how can one judge a person with just a few minute talk and above all get CONVINCED that he/she is going to be his life partner??!!! Even to select a team mate we have 4 rounds of interview!!!
Before you guys jump on me..let me hide behind the disclaimer. I've absolutely no issues with this concept which has worked well for my parents..their parents..relatives...and majority of people i knew and i am more than happy to have this off my plate rather than taking this into my hands!! Think unless one takes the plunge cant tell whether he can swim or drown ;) Still from the shore it looks so weird and scary and at times.. nothing more than a gamble. The other option of a person selecting their own partner themselves (aka love marriages) doesn't sound so fool proof either. The only difference between the two being, you got someone else to blame in case of former and only yourself in latter!!
What do you guys think? wud like to hear it from the (married) horse's mouth :)
1) Check the foto if like it goto step 2
2) Check the horoscope if it matches goto step 3
3) Visit the gals/guys house for free snack session and have an officially sponsored violation of privacy with the sort of questions that would've made you beet red in anger had the situation been anything otherwise.
4) If step 3 finishes satisfactorily..get the 2 bakras married!!!
There are many people around who dont believe in placing bets or who consider gambling as an evil. But still they have no qualms in going in for an arranged marriage. It still beats me..how can one judge a person with just a few minute talk and above all get CONVINCED that he/she is going to be his life partner??!!! Even to select a team mate we have 4 rounds of interview!!!
Before you guys jump on me..let me hide behind the disclaimer. I've absolutely no issues with this concept which has worked well for my parents..their parents..relatives...and majority of people i knew and i am more than happy to have this off my plate rather than taking this into my hands!! Think unless one takes the plunge cant tell whether he can swim or drown ;) Still from the shore it looks so weird and scary and at times.. nothing more than a gamble. The other option of a person selecting their own partner themselves (aka love marriages) doesn't sound so fool proof either. The only difference between the two being, you got someone else to blame in case of former and only yourself in latter!!
What do you guys think? wud like to hear it from the (married) horse's mouth :)
Comments
Probability theory says, as the number of trial tends to infinity, there is a sure chance of the gambler to lose. I relate all our failures to this :P
Love or arranged one should go with instinct. Rest is in our hands to make it successful .
Ofcourse, other external things too are important.
http://oreponnu.blogspot.com/2009/11/how-does-love-happen.html
@gils- its just a gamble and as with all things in life, u win some u loose some..
pudiyunga puliodaraiyai :)
@athivaasi:
//After all, life is itself a game of gambles, isn't it??//
saabaash..sariaana kostin :D :D heheee anjer teriaalana naanga ipdi solli mazhupiduvomla ;)
oru pechuku ithuku anjer oknu vachikuvom.....the result of how many of such gambles live with u for life??!! pricking whether u did the right thing? for this reason only i call this the "greatest" gamble of ones life.
ahahah :) antha coin toss panra example vachu solreengala..gamblers ruin? ;)) too much maths i say..aprum anu en blog pakamay vara matanga
first matter..unga post padichen..taaapu :) aana aathukararuku neenga boom boom maadu analogy uhum....nambara mathiri ila :D :D
naan ethuvumay solala saaami...just trying to get ideas frm folks who underwent all this..so tht enaku use aagumayngara oru pothunalathula thaan :D
apo say yes to gamblingareenga :)
LOL :D is this something were one can afford a loss?? konjam kushtamilayo?
The result of ALL the gambles come along in life, EVERY LIFE is a classic example, Gils!!
1. Did you choose the traits you wanted from your mother, or father?? It was the 'on' and 'off' of certain genes, which was in nobody's hands.
The way we look, the race we belong to, our interest of tastes, our interests of life, our talents,ppl we meet in life are all pure probability is what I think. We name the anonymous who decides all this as God, who plays a very significant role in all our lives!! :)
//
yes..but u "get to choose" the one whom u "have to" love here right..atha thaan gamblenu solren..rest of them.yeah..the job wer u join...the friends u make..the career u choose..elaamay gamble thaan.aana impact kammi..not everlasting and evergrowing like this one :)
>> But still they have no qualms in going in for an arranged marriage.
>> It still beats me..how can one judge a person with just a few minute
>> talk and above all get CONVINCED that he/she is going to be his
>> life partner??
In an arranged marriage, the odds are usually stacked to be against failure. Why are there a group of folks on either side when the first interaction happens? Informal background check. :-) (these days, the formal ones can be done as well) Maybe, to make sure the odds are less towards incompatibility later. The girl's side carries more risk as our family system is still not fully nuclear.
Ungala yaaru few minutes pesa sonnaanga? Talk for hours. :-) Even then, how many folks really share truths. :-( Or for that matter, even in matters of love, only your best foot is forward. :-(
>> Still from the shore it looks so weird and scary and at times..
>> nothing more than a gamble.
If you think it is a gamble, it is a gamble. If you don't, then that thinking is a gamble. :-)
You are on the right road towards matrimony as you are asking the right questions. :-)
Savitha's P theory can be flipped to the other side as well. If the gambler was winning repeatedly, then as the number of tries goes to infinity, he has more chances to lose. If the die was not skewed earlier, then the chances are equal still.
intha angle konjam puducha keethay :)but if u r out to impress someone wud anyone be realllllly truthful?? interviewku porapoavay evlo poi sola vendiruku...
epdi paathalum gambler..ruin thaanga..there is a concept in tht which also talks abt bad things clustering... :)
Go by gut-feel. They are right almost every time. If you (and your family) think you like the girl (and her family), move forward and ask what they feel about you (and your family). Nothing works better than understanding families.
kandipaa..i am more worried abt them rather :D :D
LOL :D nalla idea..it wud be like cigarrette pack with statuatory warning :D they cant blame me later :D
Step 2: Pick the guy, talk to his parents and the girl still has no clue
Step 3: They finally break the news- we have found a 'suitable match' for you
Step 4: If you discuss thats argument and no respect for elders.. but...
Step 5: do as told becoz the option of 'discussion' is closed and emotional blackmail is full on
Step 6: the guy is not in India so exchange mails
Step 7: the chap is ready to say yes without meeting you
Step 8: scare him of the possible consequences and throw a tantrum
Step 9: He says NO and the chapter is closed.. thank god!
Step 10: Tell your parents I told you this will not work out...make a sad face like this :( and smile heart in heart.. get bk to work and live happily till next!
It is not about arranged or love marriage but the right way of going about things...Even in love marriage someone introduces you to the person and from there things move and in arranged its your family who does the needful.. But that pushiness pushes me away from it and run in the other direction.. Only if parents didn't get so nervous about the singledom!!!
WOWWWWWW :D :D i wrote an algorithm..u developed a language :D :D exp talks huh :D
Parents, uncles, aunts, that distant grand family.. everyone eyes on who is the next single in family in line...phew!
wat was the end result.. :)
The point is that they want to see you married at any cost… and my grand mother at 90 tells me I have heard that these days you find guys on computers (read matrimonial sites)! :)
The blog’s working fine.. posted a new post
Taxfreethoughts.wordpress.com
LOL :D :D techno granma :D mine is also interested in net :) she recommends sites at times for my mom to register :D :D
PS: I totally disapprove of the matrimonial site/supplement concept... I am on sale, come check me out! duh..:)
LOL :D :D waatan interesting perspective :D :D
six years of the roller coaster , m still clueless. Initially , everything around seemed like a blessing and later seemed to prove otherwise and now we are sure it will not be the same always but as long as u care for each other , there is love.
Finding a match is generally the last piece of the puzzle in case of arranged marriages. and so this algorithm goes well perfectly most of the time.
unfortunately ,Love marriages are not the same anymore like it used to be. People are influenced by meaner things these days.. People in love for more than 5 years break up for trivial reasons.If they are married and fall for such a trap , Parents and friends help them recover.
Moral : The "getting to know each other" thing doesnot happen until the sashti of the husband :D In other words , only when you love a person , you want to know them better.
so "All the best " .share ur story :)
ramabam madam..etho novel padicha epect kammaings no reading ur kament :D
oh spoken like a true hermione ;)
so what do u think is real love :D
Story after is anyways same :P
hws ur trip goin on :)
I wish we are more comfortable with bachelorhood instead of looking at it as plague! Once we are comfortable at that point, the parents will not push their children into an arrangement that will be hell for both of them!