Of fear and strength

Gerascophobia. By the ending syllable one can easily figure out it is the name of a type of fear. It is probably one of the most famous fears of all times, stretching across centuries, spawning many a fairy tale and quest, something that most of silver screen actors are afraid off and narcissistic rich people try to fight against, a fear that has successfully fueled an entire industry called cosmetics – ageing. That big word, scary as it is by its size, is the term that relates to the fear of ageing.

Be it our puranas or in some fairy tales across any region, ageing and the fight of humans to resist the same, has been a recurring theme, that has extended well into this AI age as well. It doesn’t just restrict to looks or glamour that comes with youth. It doesn’t just means having the vigor or strength that one enjoys in their prime. In a narrow cliched sliver of a sample, it also is caused due to the responsibilities and roles that comes with advancement in age and the lack of knowledge or understanding in facing such situations without the support model that one might’ve enjoyed in their past or in their present. 

My take on this comes with the last-mentioned part and a trigger for this post happened about few weeks back while attending a thread ceremony. It was my college mate’s kid who was initiated into this bhramacharya phase. The ceremony was well managed, and all the guests were respectfully received and treated well. Being the lazy bones that I am, I hardly venture out of my room and attending gatherings is something that I avoid by all means possible. What I did got to realize was how quickly time has elapsed from the last time I saw the kid to that present day. It made me realize how fast time is running out and quickly we are all ageing (our vazhia pointuku vantaanpa!!) How many things needs to be taken care of and the pace at which things are moving really made me dizzy!! Some of my college mates have kids who are nearing marriageable age while mine is in primary school. Few of my colleagues who started their career with me are already having kids who are into the first years of their career. Majority of my friends will be having an pre-adult kid who would be out of their teen years and would well be stepping into the adult world in few years’ time and whenever they talk about the challenges faced by them, I am frankly stumped for an answer and it only adds more fuel to this fear. One portion of comfort being I still have some time to reach that space the other fear factor being that I might be all alone when I travel through that journey. The worse part being, will I ever get to witness those events. Going by family history where my grand dad passed away just shy of 90 and having lost my dad few months before he turned 60 I already feel like running on fumes. On one hand the absurdity and morbidity of the thought process is revolting whereas the inevitability of the fact is struggling to push for a win. 

Irrespective of any scenario, what I understand is there is only so many things one can do that he has in his control. I learnt about a new term called “anxiety attack” while searching about Gerascophobia and understand that at some point, most of major religious and holy texts have spoken about this topic. While the occurrence of such thoughts may not be new, for the individual in me, the situation is as new as it can possibly be. But the good news being, there are millions of others who have gone through this stage and have left behind their notes. So possibly, it shouldn’t be such a worry factor after all. Nevertheless, it made me realize how little time we’ve on our hand and how fast even that quantity is evaporating. Spending as much time as possible, creating memories and reliving the best of them seems to be not a bad choice in overcoming such emotions. When I look back, this blogspace seems to be 17 years as of today!! And there are some really cherish able moments and comments in this very space that gives me a sense of time that has gone by. It gives one strength and cheer to look forward to as many more such time span up ahead.