Of time and relations

Recently my circle of known people got reduced by passing away of 2 people. One my blood relation and other person being someone my entire family holds in very high esteem. I was present on the funerals of both and happened to see some common traits that disturbed me to write this post. My uncle passed away last week due to multiple cardiac arrests in Bangalore. After a gap of 14 years, having left that city due to the untimely demise of my dad, the reason why I visited the city remained the same. What I witnessed and my emotions on the city will possibly need a post of its own. His son was on a foreign land and there were multiple parallels in the way in which this situation reached him. There were too many overlapping incidents and memories that I thought had long forgotten got rekindled. The blankness with which people went through the motions and the emotionless cadence with which things proceeded were baffling and sad at the same time. Sad because of the stark reality associated with it and baffling because, there was a similar situation on a near by place and the reactions of people there as compared to what was happening here raised lot of questions within me. It is morbid even to compare such events but emotions being a common thread, I felt possibly we are getting more and more detached from sentiments and emotions even for closest of relations, due to the physical distance between us. Long distance relationships are often quoted in terms of love and marriages. But very rarely I see that statement mentioned in case of parents and other relationships that also are impacted. No way I am saying that people should’ve cried more or demonstrated their love vocally or on those lines. Having seen someone staying, growing, and withering right in front of your eyes and having received it as a news in a faraway land where you are physically and mentally drained by the journey itself, I guess, leaves you very little strength, emotionally to express your true feelings. Some people do say that death is a relief, for it forgives the people off their ailments and related sufferings. Even though it may be dipped in practicality, I find that statement and sentiment to be cold hearted and crude at best. I believe, in the guise of protecting ourselves, by wrapping everything in practical thoughts, we are losing out on who we are as humans. Our ability to feel for others is the biggest blessing that enables us to live and survive as a society. The more we wear the glass of factual and being practical, the farther away we move from basic human emotions. It has gone to such an extend that, corporates are hiring trainers to teach people empathy!!! Coming back to the post, the other person who passed away 2 weeks ago was a very special person for my family. He was the one who introduced sloka and Ganapati stories to junior and was our next-door neighbor in our previous house. In fact, junior was fed as much by them as us, for he would want to have lunch only in their house. They encouraged him so much and he was almost like their own grand kid. In fact, there used to be times, when junior will be super cranky, they helped us in sailing through those times. That uncle was a noble person and anyone who even have a cursory look at him will understand what I am trying to tell here. He was always cheerful and will pray for welfare of those around him. Many a times he has shared prasadams from temples he had visited, where he would have done sankalpams on all our behalf. There was literally no need for him to go through that much effort and it was never an effort in show-off or anything else. He had so may post corona ailments but never lost that cheerful face. His happiness was always contagious, and he can make you feel better just with his smile. Again, his entire family but for his son was away on a foreign land when he passed away and by the time they reached here, crossing all time zones, they were tired to the bone. The other common factor being kids!! The cluelessness with which they were roaming around, asking uncomfortable questions, while some even were understood by them in their own way, was probably life’s way of telling us that it moves on whether we do or not. Grieving will take its due but in both the cases it helped in relieving the stress to some extent. Having been through and living through such situations for more than a decade, I can only imagine what they are and will go through.