Tuesday, January 22, 2013


Nethu "Neeya Naana" program paathavangaluku intha postoda reason velangirukum. For the uninitiated, yesterday's topic was a brand new one. Never before debated on Indian television. Avlo en..ulaga varalaatrileye muthal muraiyaaga intha topic was taken up nu kooda sollalam. Avlo pudusu. "Love marriage" for and against. Ithaan antha topic.

Tv thondri remote thondraa kaalam thottu itha thaanada pesitrukeengannu solreengala. Apdiyum ithuku oru result irukara mathiri therilaye. Clear pannama arrearsa poatu thallara Discrete Mathametics exam paper mathiri, epo intha topic eduthaalum show pichikitu poguthu. A topic, never bereft of controversies. And the latest episode was no vithivelakku as well.

But unlike all previous other times, in this one, the reason was out right in the open as to why people oppose love marriages. Probably and most possibly, the show was stage managed and ghost walked into the conclusion to get that "awe" effect. But that, it was true to a major extent is what was saddening. Majority of those who opposed love marriages came out saying, they might even accept such weddings if the bride or groom are from their caste or higher but never if the caste is lower. Especially SC's and ST's. At times, how much ever obvious the truth might be, when it is spoken out loud, it does have a shocking effect.

If cinema is a mirror to the society and considering the number of blockbusters based on love stories, year after year, generation after generation any alien person watching our movies, might mistake us for a very liberal society when it comes to love. Even till date, expressing love has been the single most embarassing, delicate, complicated and difficult thing to do for any guy (Multiply it manifold for gals). And add caste to the equation, you've a competitor that would give fractals a run for their complex design.

All said and done, the honest yet sad truth is, many people, in their heart of heats are casteists. More than the religious intonation, i feel it might trace back to early stages of cave people. Ours being predominantly an arranged marriage based setup, obviously, intially, people would've been looking for spouses within their groups (read castes). It could also trace back to our varnam based setup of yesteryears. Out literatures speak highly of  some of the cross cultural marriages at that time. So i guess, either the discriminations were hidden or started much later or on a positive note, those people of yesteryears were much more tolerant.  With foreign invaders and mix and match of their cultures and religions, the existing setup underwent dramatic changes and the resultant mix, rather than being a confluence of both, stood separaely like oil and water.  It has only added to the chaos and with growing exposure and information, it has now reached a boiling point. Rules retain their value, as long as people follow it and the moment unanswerable questsions are raised against them, they are bound to break.

There have always been a sense of groupism in all of us which is evident from the gangs we form right from school to colleges to workplaces. In all these places, its always the frequency that gels the group and very rarely would you see it based on caste. Honestly i've never seen one. Whenever there are people within the gang who are in love they obviously become the center of attraction mainly due to the courage with which the couple have realised their feelings for each other. There is always this misconception about people who are in love. The first thing that comes to mind is the physical aspect of the relation. Guess, that might be the real reason why so many are against it or afraid of it in first place. Castelaam kooda secondarya irukalam. But i wonder if there would be anyone who might not've had this thought.

 Be it movies or real life, its almost always the friends who are the guardians and protectors of love :) And looking at the direction in which the current society is heading, with nuclear families paving way to single parenting system, the day is not far when all the relations get bundled into friends. Guess, then, there might be less opposition for love. Oru ponnaio paiyanio paathu pudichiruku pudikalainu solrathu evlo kushtamaana matter. Athualayum ivlo criteria and prachanais thaandi elaam sumugama nadakanumna....mudiala saami. Love panna naadu kadathiduvennu oru aal spoke on that show. Pesama nejamavay oru naadu uruvaakida vendi thaan. If you are in love and if people oppose, intha countryku visa eduthu poidungannu :) 200 countries irukra intha olagathula lovekaga oru country irunthutu thaan poagatumay :)


Asha said...

Oh ho! yarukko loveria polirukkay! romba anubavasthar madiri ezhudirikkiraar:)

romba naalacchu neeya naana parthhu, will see the episode and comment here again.

MEanwhile with kaalam these things are changing. in the society, i live you will be surprised to know that there are many melnattu marumagals and the weddings have taken place some 4 years back...inni varaikkum touch wood..they are going strong.

adhey neriya ullnattu arranged kalyanam 1.5 years divorcela mudinja kadhaiyum irukku.

manassu otthu pocchunnu ellam ok, caste creed no bar, what say?

subject unga introla sonna madiri pudusu kidayadu.... already recently blog contestkooda vechanga sony tv karanga love marriage vs arranged marriage..nnu to promote their serial

appa.....podhum idhoda niruthikren illati postavida perisa poidum ennoda comment.

Aarti said...

Even though it is an age old debate, it makes me sad that people's mentality HASNT changed an ounce..

was shocked to hear how some parents said "we will disown them, send them abroad, try to kalachify their minds by talking abt all the bad" bla bla bla... what rubbish... the bottomline according to me is "parents want to control their children till one of them dies, and it is just not acceptible if children become independent, and worst of all being choose a life partner..." i have such ppl in my family and it makes me mad....

chennaigirl said...

I watched that too. Its nothing but reality. The thing is parents on both sides need to be strong,independent and supportive. All other reactions depends on them only. Its their fear and insecurity of acceptance within the community which forces them to speak that way.

RS said...

One thing parents fail to realize is that the lesser the freedom, the worser the decision-making ability, and worser the choices. This gets dangerous, especially, when the child is in their mid-teens, when everybody is tend to get a tad bit distracted. This compounds the problem further and forces parents to force harsher restrictions on their children. This I how I see it- more of a egg-hen problem. Most of the so-called balanced people also lose balance and become overprotective when it gets personal. And it WILL continue to be a perennial problem, I won't be surprised even if such a topic is open for debate 3 generations later :) All said, I was shocked to hear some of the parents 'would-be punishment' for their children.

Ravi said...

I think recently "Neeya Nanna" has become a well orchestrated show.

I get a sense that they are creating scene. Some people very bold and open.

For example in this show one guy said that he will kill his daughter and throw in river!!, a few weeks before one guy said the household chores are mean jobs and there is no dignity in doing it. Is our people are becoming so "open" and "bold" to give such idiotic statements!!

Avada Kedavra said...

hmm that's true.. it still happens in the society! But I always wanted someone from same caste, same language only because the compatibility will be more, and it will be easier to get adjusted since our lifestyles would not differ much.

Ramesh said...

This post in the midst of travel tales ???? Athuvum Asha solra mathiri romba anubavasthar ezhuthirukkirurar !!!