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Payanangal Thodargirathu - Kitchen KILLaadi


Ambulimama, Balamitra kathailalaam vara mathiri literalla pala kadal malai kadanthu oru vazhia America vanthadaintha Gilsanandaaku,  Aappu, startersla thara soup maathiri, suda suda was waiting.

First day..First show..che..pazhakka dosham..First day @ aapeece.
Colleague signs up for me to take me in and security gave temporary access card.

"Machi...first time entering..valathu kaal vachu vara vaa?"
"Dei..ithenna first night rooma..etho oru kaal vachu vaada..vanthathay 2 hour late..ithula sagunam veraya"

"VEEEEEEE VEEEE VEEEEEEEEE VEEEE"

Suddenly siren sounds filled the air and enakku pinnala queuela ninna makkals took two steps back. All security guys were looking at me with suspicion. My colleague, who by the way was well aware of the potential of my luck, was slapping his head.
"Inga vanthumaaa!! Velanignaa pola thaan"

Nalla sunda kaachina thaar mathiri, pala pala nu oru aasami, atleast 7 ft in height and Godrej buearu maathiri built came and stood before me. Kitta thatta MGR padathula vara motta boss villain mathirye irunthaaru.
Manasukullara abaaya sangu aara vaaramaa ootha aarambichuthu
"Is today your first day here sir"
"yyyeeaasss"
"Sorry sir..your visitor card has not been acitivated yet. Apolgise for the inconvenience caused" apdinu romba bavyama he told. Aalukkum scenekkum sambanthamay illainaalum happya "unna mannichitten" nu sollitu entered.

Ever since the trip got finalised, there was one topic that was chasing me wherever i went - COOKING. Enga ponaalum first question would be "when i am leaving?" immediately followed by "how are you going to manage without knowing cooking?".

Aaya kalaigal 64la if i make a list of all those arts i am least inclined to learn, cooking would very easily take the top ten spot. Never was a big fan of chemistry and cooking, to me, was nothing less than salt and volumetric analysis combined.

Apdi irunthum, neraya neyar viruppa pattu ketathukkaga, decided to give it a try. I had promised a friend of mine that, if i ever keep hot water extraordinaire ( italicsla poatta venneer kooda french dish mathiri varuthu!! hehehe), on my own, he will be the first person to be honored with that dish. Athu kaettathukkay he applied for another insurance policy. Intha avamaanatha poakarathukaagavachum ethachum pannanumnu en room mateay adichi pudichi asked the recipe for keeping saadham.

"Machi..inniki naan rice vaikarenda"
"Paravallaye..unakku rice aachum vaikka teriyuma.."
"Echuseme..saaptu micham rice vaikka teriyum..samaikaalaam teriaathu..ozhungu mariyaathaiya solli kudu"
"Ada paavi...Pothigai tv la vara Kaanbom Karpom compere maathiri aakityedaa..hmm..seri..simple thaan. Arisi potukka..thanni vidu..cookerla vai..rice over"
"Ohh..avlo thaana..semma simplea irukkay. Intha gas patha vaikarathulaam ??"
"Grrrr...athu kooda sollanuma.."
"dei..solrathu ozhunga sollu..naangalaam Chitti Robo mathiri..podu na potruvom"
"Naanganaa?? unna mathiri innum ethana per??!! "
"ada..athu oru suya mariyaathai..naanga na ..naan thaan"
"ithukku onnum kurachal ila..seri..first arisia clean pannu"
"ok..hmmm..evlo arisi sollalaye"
"oru 2 tumbler alavu eduthukko.."
"ok."
"wash it"
Gilsananda starts washing. Roomie goes to switch on songs from laptop.
"Dei..innumaa wash pannitruka..arisi enna azhukku thunia..ithana neram clean panna..porumda"
"Atha munnadiye sollirukanum...seri..nextu?"
"Put water"
Gils opens the kitchen tap and starts filling rice vessel.
"Adai..adai..ethuku ivlo thanni...2 tumbler ricena 4 tumbler thaan water vidanum"
"Itha munnadiye solla vendi thaana...intha excess watera enna panrahtu ipo?"
"hmmm..veeranam kuzhai moolama chennaiku anupidalam...enda uyira vaangara..kotti thola"
"why tension machi..less tension more work..more work less tension..seri..seri..muraikaatha..next what"
"Cookerla vachu gas on pannu..avlo thaan"
"Ozhunga check panniko machi..vaazhvo saavo..intha rice thaan inniki lunchku...neeyum itha thaan saapdanum. Ella stepsum seria panniyaacha?"
"Aaama..ivar peria PSLV rocket vida poraru..steps check panni countdown vida..dei..oru arisi kalainji saatham vaikka ivlo alapparaiya...cookera moodu"
"yes ur aanar"
"Heat evlo vacha"
"Atha nee sollavay illaye"
"adaiiii...seri..thola..oru 7 la vai."
"avlo thaana.."
"Aama..oru naalu whistle adikkum...appo vanthu off panidalam"
"Whistle adikka ethana neram aagum"
"unakku badil solratha vida kammia thaan aagum..pesaama po"

After ten minutes.."hmm...ennada sathamay kaanum"
"Enakku mattum enna josiyama theriyum..iru oru 5 mins paakalam"

Etho coma patienta closea monitor panra doctors mathiri..the cooker was under strict observation.
Despite our repeated staring athu engala mathichaa maathirye therila. Diwaliku atom bomb vachitu vedikutha vedikalaiyaanu bayanthukittay kitta poi paakra mathirye we went near it. My roomie being the experienced guy, went ahead and started meddling with the cooker weight.

"Dei..athelaam open panna vedika poguthu...venaam..off pannitu vanthiru"
"Endaa..ethanaa varushama cook panren..enaku teriaatha"
BANG.
Well...the kitchen looked like it was hit by a snow storm. Enga paathalum rice flakes.
"Naan..appovay.."
"Dont..dont even say a word"

"VEEEEEEE VEEEE VEEEEEEEEE VEEEE"

Suddenly the same sound from office enveloped the apartment. Naama inga id cardlam swipe pannalyenu was wondering when my roomie rushed to throw a wet cloth to the ceiling. Ithennada diparantaana customaa irukaay paatha..our little (mis)adventure had triggered the smoke alarm.

Finala, we settled for the trusted Domino's pizza for dinner.
Roomie was pissed off majorly with himself and DO NOT DISTURB sign was swinging right over his head all the while. After he took an extra peiece of pizza, i drew up courage and asked him.

"Machi..seri..vidu..naaliku enna dish pannalam"
"Grrrr....maganay...inimay kitchen pakkam vantha mudhal dead body nee thaan....unakku  naanay daily cook panni thanthidren..."
"Haiyaaaaaa"
"Ennaathu?!!"
"Illa..haiioo solla vanthen..spelling mistake aaidichi"
"Kitchen pakkam varuva ini?"
"uhum...kitchen enga irukku kaetta erode pakkam thoothukudi pakkam irukku soliduven...avvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv"

"Intha situationukku oru song sollatta...Uruguthay..Karuguthay..Over heatinaalay..."
"Illa machi..intha song thaan saria varumm...adidaaa avana..udhaidaa avana.."
With that the roomie chases Gilsananda who goes rushing for cover.

Ippadiyaaga..vantha annikay alarm bells muzhanga mangalagaramaaga...payanam thodangiyathu.
Aaana kodumais ennamo kontinue aagitu thaan iruku. Atha adutha postgalil paapomaaa :)

Ippothaikku apeetu ...appalika repeetu :)

Comments

RS said…
ROTFL!! Gilsy, mudiyyyyala. ORey the aakaporra irukuthu......

//"hmmm..veeranam kuzhai moolama chennaiku anupidalam..."//

Ha ha ha ha,,,,,,Ungaluku yeththa roomie. Nalla vela, ithuvey oru tension aapicer-a irundhirundha unga nelamaiya yosichu paarunga.....
Ramesh said…
Gilsu - me sending Meenakshi ammal's magnum opus by express delivery.

@RS - Ennamma, ithukooda theriyaliya ??? Gilsu roommate, Priya of JOKK fame :)
RS said…
thanks for enlightening me, Ramesh
G3 said…
ROTFL :)) Haiyo haiyo... oru saapadu veikka imbuttu alapparaya??!!! Ungal room matekku en aazhndha anudhaabangal :)))

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