Just junior things

With Junior entering the next stage of his schooling life, it is all the more emotionally tumultuous period for over enthu pattani parent like me, who often compare their own childhood for reference in handling their kid, either to follow or digress from what they went through. It made me realize, how much of a "Santhosh Subramaniam" Prakash Raj i am turning into when it comes to dealing with Junior. On one hand, i want to make sure his path is devoid of any trouble and has a smooth take off, i contradict myself at every step of the way, not realizing that take off means, spreading wings to fly and not remain on the palms of your hand! The other side being not knowing when to let go! When it comes to junior, even slight things that deviate from expected results tend to throw me off handle for it induces the kind of panic reaction and response solely out of guilt of not doing the right job as a parent. I often look back at what my dad would've done and it makes me wonder, having been to office for a whole day away from all such situations would've actually been a blessing for he could've been more focused on other things. As much as i try to find references for each situation that we encounter together every single day, i often find that things that worked for me as a kid is quite different (obviously) when the exact same scenario repeats itself in junior's life. For quite simply junior is a much different person and is turning out into a lot better one as well in some areas, especially in keeping things simple and not over thinking, which is the biggest bane of my life!! There is a dialogue in one tamil movie, where in the father character will be telling his son that he doesn't want his son to end up like him. Even if he is Ambani or Birla, i wonder if any dad would ever want his kid to be like him?!! At hindsight i guess we never appreciate our life and always find the negatives or the regrets to be more than the positives. But we will never look back and say we didn't do a decent job in bringing  up our kid. We would often feel that we've done a much better job than our parent!!! And we tend to exaggerate over things that didn't go the way we expected as a child and often label them as bad. I was timid and got branded as hyper sensitive by people around me that pushed me into a self formed shell till way into adult life. Even today, i am not sure whether it was a good thing or bad, but when i see junior feeling timid or taken aback by simple things, it makes me angry - not because it is something bad, but i wanted him to be different, more courageous and more stronger than how i was at that stage. But when i see that he has managed to make more friends than all of my life time number, i am glad that things work out for him the way it is. As he steps into the next phase of his childhood, my only wish for him is to have better perspective and better luck in being who he is and more courage in handling things that come his way. With the speed at which life styles and things are changing, no one can predict where we are heading or what is coming our way. But the hope that it will definitely be a better one and we will continue to adapt, keeps us going!