Rants of a Single Guy!

Maathamo chithirai.maniyo pathinonrai...inum varlai nithirai...mail chk pannumboathu intha fwda padichen...it was so very tickling that...konja naja thookamum poach...somehow..enakkagavay yaaro type panni fwd panna mathiri oru feeling...its so very true :)


I am a nice guy. Or so my female friends tell me. I'm a nice, helpful,generally likeable guy. So nice in fact that once a year,during that wonderful festival called Raksha Bandhan when we Indians celebrate that bond between a brother and sister, you will find me hidingunder a table, or if that's not safe enough, under a chair,whimpering in fear, and blithering like an idiot. (A lot of people feel thatis exactly what I am, but let's not get into that now.) A close friend of mine once said to me (and this was agirl who I had been contemplating proposing marriage to), "I wish I had a brother like you." I mean, how is a man supposed to react to a statement like that? I think women use such statements to see how men respond to situations of extreme stress. It's probably some kind of experiment in psychology. And we men go along with it simply because,you know, they are women.
Talking about the strange things women have said to me,this is one of my favorites: "You remind me of my dog." Meaning, I assume, that I walk on all fours, have long flappy ears, and prefer to relieve myself in front of a water hydrant. I wonder if anyone would wantthat kind of person as his or her younger brother.So, as you would have guessed by now, I am single. I am a single, nice, helpful, generally likeable guy. Who reminds women of their dog. And I've come to the conclusion that there is no suchthing as a single woman. A single woman is like Schrödinger's cat. (For the
not-so-technically-inclined, Schrödinger was a physicist.The sadist that he was, he used a poor little cat to teach quantumphysics. He hypothesized a cat in a box, with an arrangement such thatas long as the box was closed, the cat could be either dead or alive.But the moment you opened the box to check, a poisonous gas wouldbe released killing the cat instantly -- if it had been alive in thefirst place. For more details, type "Schrödinger's cat" in Google.) Women are like that. Until you bother to find out whetherthey are single or not, they could be either. But the moment you get curious... bang, they're single no longer. It is normally between thefirst and third week of my acquaintance with a girl that I'm given this glorious piece of information. "Hey, I have something to tell you. I'm getting engagednext week, and I want you to come to the party." Ahem. "Guess what? I'mgetting married next month! Aren't you overjoyed?" Yes, of course. I'm sohappy I have tears in my eyes. Once, I was talking to a girl on the phone, and we wereinterrupted when she got a call on the other line. She came back on line acouple of minutes later with the words "Oh, I'm sorry about that.That was my boyfriend." Your what? And you know another thing?Somehow, I inspire this unprecedented amount of trust in women. I'mconsidered completely harmless! Not only by the women, but even theirboyfriends, fiancés and husbands!
"Oh, you're with him? Fine. Have a nice time." "You wantto take a walk on the beach? I'm a little busy. Why don't you take himalong?" "It's Valentine's day. The poor guy must be alone. Why not callhim over for lunch?" I guess I've earned that reputation over a longperiod of time, but still, you know. Sometimes you wish the guys wouldfeel just a little bit threatened. And it's not like I look harmless either. The followingincident is a favorite example: I was at an Archie's gallery. This wasthe time when they had that stuffed monkey on sale. You know, the onethat whistled every time you crossed its path. The kind of whistle thata guy might make when a good-looking girl walks by. So the monkey wason display in one of the aisles, and the first five minutes that I wasthere, it must have been triggered about 15 times. Gets quite irritating,really. After that, for a few minutes, there was no one in the shop, andI had some peace. Then a girl walked in, and soon crossed the path ofthe monkey. The monkey whistled dutifully. And out of curiosity, witha big smile on my face for some reason, I turned to see who the monkeyhad whistled at.At exactly the same moment, the girl turned around, to seewho had whistled. If looks could kill, she would have wiped out anarmy. Fifteen seconds later she had left the shop. I must thank my luckystars she didn't slap me, or have me beaten up by the moral brigade.But I think you understand what I'm trying to say. Which is, that Idon't look all that harmless. So, why the loads of trust?
They also tell me that I'm easy to talk to. That isprobably why I'm one of the first people a girl would tell her secret crushesto. None of which ever include me, of course. But I think you musthave guessed that. As you can imagine, I attend most weddings as afriend of the girl.But I take solace in the fact that I'm not the only one.Look at the two men -- our esteemed Ex-PrimeMinisterVajpayee, and our President. They are both single. With any luck, I'lldo better than them. I hope...

:)