Memories

Few days before my mom was talking to her elder sister on phone and they were reminiscing about their childhood days, like how they used to walk for several kilometers to reach their school, their lunch boxes, how risky it would be during rainy days when the river would be overflowing, how terrified she would be to cross the cemetery on the way, the different kinds of fruits that were freely available on the way that are no longer available now even in shops. She used to mention often about power cuts or lack of electricity to be precise, during night times, which used to scare the wits out of them. There were problems of robbers as well it seems, who would remove the tiles on top of their house during the night and would steal whatever was there in kitchen. The menace of monkeys who wouldn't just make a mess of the food cooked for the entire family but also would defecate there and make a mess of the whole kitchen. She would also mention about their garden at their backyard and the variety of trees that were there which nearly made them self sufficient for their daily chores. She would be going on and on about the lifestyle at that times and very rarely would use the word struggle. It was nothing but hardship for that family of minimum 8 people at any point of time with 5 kids and my grandparents, who survived on minimal income. When she talks about her childhood with her sisters or uncles over phone, she would always be so happy even while describing difficulties that they had to undergo and there would always be a tone of accomplishment that, they have overcome all those situations to where they are now.

When i try to remember my school days, i hardly am able to remember anything barring few incidents here and there. I do carry vivid recollection of incidents that troubled me, like the beating i got from a teacher that made my hand swell, resulting in my mom literally taking that miss to cleaners. I remember the house where we stayed form sixth till my first year or second year in college. The reason being the toilet. It was a common toilet that were shared by the two families in ground floor. The door frame of that toilet would be quite withered and would be literally crawling with cockroaches of all sizes and colors. I've seen white color ones, dark brown and the usual dark brown ones that literally scared the sleep out of me in the fear of using the toilet. Especially when it rains, the entire door frame, walls and ceiling would be crawling with the roaches and they would be flying everywhere. The loo would be water logged and would over flow at times, which had to be repaired with a plunger. I guess my fear of using the rest room and not having proper bowel movement might've resulted in me being over weight and the fear factor crept way deep in pysche. When we moved to a different house after almost 9 years in that house, despite it being very dark and hardly having any air circulation, the best part was the toilet, which was for own use and need not be shared with anyone. The other family in our previous house had about 10 people, including the kids, parents and their grandparents. Many a time the wait for using the rest room would be so severe that there were lots and lots of fights between the two families. When we relocated, the biggest happiness for me was that we finally had a rest room where we can use it as we please. When we moved to the next house, even though it was a 1BHK, i began to realize how houses should actually be and from where we were staying all the while. This one was well ventilated, had space all around the house and again a toilet for our own purpose, devoid of any cockroach. If at all i need to mention anything about my childhood, without cockroach being mentioned, it would be incomplete. The repulsion i felt every single night, especially during power cuts and rainy days, makes me shiver even to recollect about them. 

But that is not just what defines my childhood (idhu solla ivlo peria polambal paragrapha!!). The best part of what i remember is how my mom stood up for me, pushing me into CBSE, to talk in english, read english novels and become better. How my dad, ensured i can opt for a post graduation, with fees several times beyond our means, without taking any loan or making us feel the strain. How he ensured that we never had any complaints about the lifestyle we had. Even the cockroach saga i mentioned about is more of my fear and revulsion, something that made me realize how important it is to have a clean environment. I remember how my grandmother paid my first fees when i joined Aptech, pushing me to learn computers, which helped me in my PG lab sessions tremendously. How my dad had tears in his eyes when i rejected IIT because of the fees and how proud he used to be every time we went to atm to withdraw salary. My only wish is, i've few more of good memories and i can look back with a smile and the paradox being how most of the time is spent in worrying about what will happen in future, missing out on the simple happiness that comes with present day. Hoping to take it one day at a time.