Of roots and places

I read an article recently about how people who have settled on foreign countries, even after becoming citizens still have that sense of loneliness. Not that being citizen has anything to do with it, but the thing being, if you’ve spent that much time to attain citizenship, you are expected to be accustomed to the culture and lifestyle of those nations, especially US. The article mentioned that, even though, as a neighbour you may be invited to events and parties, even thought people may know you and be friendly, never does those relations get to the level of discussing personal life. Unlike India, where in the third conversation that you may have with a person could possibly be about your third cousin from a distant relative long forgotten, people abroad treat personal life as something quite close to their heart and not even our folks who settle their, even within their own circles they rarely discuss about such topics. The essence of the post being, how our guys, settled abroad, still miss such “heart-to-heart” conversations about their families and life. I am both for and against this topic from the sense that, I belong to the club which expects as much as it gives. May be that is the prime reason why I feel missed out on many a friends circle. And I cannot accept any other place as your native as your own, despite all the luxuries and quality of life the other may offer. There is merit in the statement that the land where you are born, has an inevitable, invisible link to your psyche and will follow till your grave. It is not something that you can wish to change by mugging up a bunch of trivia and having stayed for x number of years. Becoming a citizen and being a native are totally different things and are never interchangeable. I find so many of my friends, despite having settled abroad for almost 20+ years, having accustomed to the other culture probably more than even the natives, still find it difficult to gel with more than a handful of folks outside of their own diaspora. They find it easy to mingle with expats like them from other countries but very rarely with the natives. I guess the same will go for India as well, wherein any foreigner who if happens to be your next door neighbour, would be seen with more suspicion than friendliness. It is not the looks, color of the skin, dialect or even thought processes. There is something beyond all these which connects people. Agreed that there are couple who vow to stay together until death does them apart, getting locked in holy matrimony and all. But living with someone for life as a relative, having an a casual acquaintance of a next door neighbour are not on same scale. We might’ve globalized the world, but the heart still remains rooted to the same place where it was from its time of birth. Again, this post is not about universal truth, but just my take on how I view these things. This is coming from a person, who feels home sick outside of the 4 streets where he has spent 90% of his life. The world may not be my oyster, but my oyster is a comfortable world of mine.