Trickling Thoughts - To be or not to be

I've always felt that people who have lived abroad for a decent number of years and having come back to India fall under two types - those who are overtly critical of Indian lifestyles and look out for chances to catch the next flight out and those who bring in their experience of living outside and try to simulate the same friendly environment on their home country.

When i was talking with my friend, he said, Indian women in general, find it easier to live outside India. The reason being, they dont have the pressure of the tedious norms of our culture that even on its best days are predominantly male chauvinistic. They feel they've more freedom to lead the way they want to live more at abroad than in India. Sila chinna chinna intrusions on their personal space like, what time they get up, what do they wear, what do they eat and cook and how they address or interact with their spouse and friends, in general avanga pesonal life, even after marriage or even while studying, they feel is secure if not in India.

Ithu evlo true or evlo false nu me the no debating. But oru chinna example. My friend went to India last month from here. Like "Kuruvi" Vijay she agreed to take a parcel for me back home. Appovay thelivaa she told. I am not sure how much time i will get for myself to reach out to my mom or sister to deliver. To be honest, it felt lighta scene puttings. But when i realised that, within a span of 4 weeks, she has to spend time with her side of the family, fill in the gap of 4 years of separation and then appease with her in laws, meet the unseen relatives from both sides of her family and also allocate some time for her friends. Yosichi paakavay thala suthidichi. And that's not just it. Enna mathiri innum ethana per courier charge sikkanam pannarathukaga ipdi aduthuvanga thalaila mootai katti anuppi irupanga!! To top it all, she had to travel alone with her 2 kids, both under 4 years of age and had 2 transits to cover, over a 20 plus hour travel !! No wonder she was scared out of her wits about the visit. Luckily for her, the kids didnt create much scene and she pinged that the eagle had landed safely, with a long sigh of relief. Guess within matter of days, all the points mentioned on para 2 came to haunt her and last when i spoke to her, she wasnt much enthused about going back to India.

Having spent the better part of their life being accustomed to such customs and constraints, people still find it difficult to cope back, once they taste the sweetness of relishing their individuality i guess. May be its like, going back to the era of no mobiles and internet. Oops, i had absently termed such customs as being backward :)  When some elder tries to dictates terms to your living style, they also bring with it their personality. Its the way they would've been groomed and almost every one would've their own story of suffering the same fate at the hands of their seniors and would go on to add how liberal they are compared to their own.

But these same gumbal of makkal when it comes to their own kid, most of them dont want them to be raised here!! Inga culture sari illayaam and they want them to be brought up in India!! Ithukkena solrathu?? Hypocrisy? or sheer fear that their kids wouldnt respect them if given too much independence?? Thanakkunu varapo independence inikkuthu..thannoda pasangannu varappo en idikuthu?? Enna koduma saar ithu.