Mandatory year end post

What can i say about an year, which literally changed my world upside down in a matter of moments. It started of in trepidation of something that was threatening to happen for several months and when it actually happened, more than fear it left me with a sense of profound anger. God was mighty caring in the sense that he showed me a new path right away and despite it being the hardest couple of months, somehow with his immense grace, managed to survive those tense times. Hopefully next year should be much better and path breaking into newer frontiers. Whenever i go through certain unpleasant times, i always realize at hindsight, they kind of prepared me for where i ended up down the line. "Testing" is barely the word to describe those passages of time for they are so traumatic that it sends one into downward spiral of negative thinking of which i am already a master. In fact at times, i hate to read positive quotes or avoid self motivational books, for they sound so phony and feel like self hallucinating that every thing is alright and will become rosy. Lashing out at people you actually love and those who really love you back, despite being who you are with them, cursing the whole wide world and pushing the ego to stratospherically high levels, loosing trust on people around and going into a shell, feel so comforting and correct. For the reality to struck, some one has to strike really hard on the head with facts that doesn't just fall on ears but actually go deep into those parts of brain that are responsible for comprehending the situation and allowing us to see the level of self destruct we are doing to ourselves. I had couple of such conversations this year and what would've been an otherwise white noise, i forced myself to listen and take actions that i would've despised in an heart beat. It is "sow" time now and hopefully will reap the benefits in coming year. 2024 has been nothing but a harsh teacher who didn't just made me buckle up but at times scared the daylights out of me and forced me into a rehab of actions that is trying hard to cure me of my addiction in being a bad luck penny. Rather than running away from all these, which feels like the easiest and comfortable thing to do, at each step of each day, slowly and steadily a path towards something more definitive is taking shape that i believe will eventually be the way forward for the rest of my life as i turn this hairpin bend of issues. 2025..here we come.