Of relations and friendships

There used to be a time when I was literally jealous of my friends for having such a vibrant relationship with their cousins and extended families. One of my friends had a family setup literally like Vikraman movies. When her dad expired, the entire family comprising of her dad’s siblings and mom side siblings gathered to support her sisters and mom. Every function, be it simple or routine, mandatorily involved their family and they were not just supported but given utmost respect and care to the extent that she could settle abroad with her own family without having much guilt of leaving behind her mother. Another friend of mine used to have his cousins as his partner in crime when he goes for drinking/smoking or tasting nonveg items without the knowledge of their families. They played together, grew up together and stood for each other in times of need without even asking for or being conscious about it. 

For them staying together and being there for each other is not a separate action or something to be proud of even. It was a matter-of-fact action for them, and they truly empathized with each other. There would’ve been fights for sure and misunderstandings as well with ego clashes erupting every now and then. But the overall positivity of their relationship carried them through all of it. More importantly even if there were fights between elders, it didn’t impact the relations of the younger ones. They formed and owned their own relation, and the bonding was as unique as anything that they formed with their friends. In fact, having been of same age, their friend circles had several intersecting people who became common friends, and their network grew rock solid. 

The underlying basis for all being the positivity which stemmed from mutual respect and love for each other. My bet is, even if they were not related, they would’ve eventually ended up in the same situation. Considering how my life had been an anathema of all such relations, I often wonder where things went wrong. As a sensitive child, in an egoistic setup where respect was begrudgingly given and immediately trampled on, I guess consciously or otherwise, it had embedded into my DNA as well. Many a times I have tried to be form of some gang of friends or other only to find that I would be left out  (or made to feel left out). On introspection I console myself as not having that much commonality with the group but when it repeats across every spectrum of my life, it becomes obvious where the issue lies. I guess, like how smoking forms a major role in networking, especially in office environments, alongside drinking, eating habits also play a major role. When you are a vegetarian who is unwilling to try out non-veg even as an exploratory idea, people tend to brand you quickly and with the prevalent mindset sowed by media, they tend to move away as well. Having principles is one thing, unable to or having to explain each time about every action, takes a toll on any relationship. In the long run, I feel, neither vindicated nor otherwise for any action of mine. I may not have impressed anyone to remember me or what I’ve done. But I always have the satisfaction of doing the best I could’ve possibly and for being as honest if not more than any person on the room. Might not have the best of luck when it comes to making relationships, but I am contented for having been true and sincere in what I can contribute. My parents, siblings, spouse, and child, on the other hand, were/are always a super hit with people and they know more people than as many who know them and cherish them. I believe I may still have a couple of years left to learn from them and make a mark : )