The dot on the top of i

Some years back I had posted about finding purpose in the below post. Or rather how I didn’t knew anything about having a purposeful life.

http://supershanki.blogspot.in/2012/08/vedikkai-manitharai-pol-veezhveno.html

Vedikkai manitharai pol veezhveno?? supershanki.blogspot.in A blog about movie,music,book reviews and on every topic under the sun

Do I know the answer now? May not be a resounding yes yet. But slowly there seems to be a pattern appearing in horizon. After certain stages in life, things get into a routine. There is only an extent to which you can rebel against and keep deliberating on what’s, how’s and why’s and thinking about why not’s. End of the day, the routine that is called society catches up with you and wears you down to conform to its norms. May be that is why it’s called “settling down”. Like a dead weight tied to your limbs so that you don’t keep fluttering your wings and drags you into what is exactly called as “ocean” of life. It’s not drowning per se. But people automatically get bogged down with the responsibilities that surround one from all sides and the struggle ensues to stay afloat. May be as part of this process or as orderly as any other chaos that is omnipresent in life, invariably and unknowingly people tend to gravitate towards another person and somehow the other person, often ends up as the missing purpose in search all throughout. Life stories of commitment-phobic youngsters who get married would be the best case in study, especially after they become parents and when their entire world of individual glorification starts to orbit around their kids life and growth.

There was a line in a song written by Kamal that “Naam vaazhntha vaazhvirku saandru aavathu innoru uyir”. As usual, like any other quote by him, the above mentioned line also has layered meaning. Loosely translated it means, the evidence of our existence is in another life. Here “saandru” could mean evidence or proof or example and for each take, it gives a whole new meaning to the sentence. We can lead a life such that it serves as an example for other. We should lead such a glorious life that, its evidence can be found in the enrichments of others. We may lead such a meritocractic life that the way of our life could be proof for others, to follow or abhor. Such a simple line and so many different meanings!! Also, “innoru uyir” when seen with the meaning as one’s own kid as against any other life, the whole sentence makes a totally different reference!!!! As often I find myself, floating listlessly in thoughts, I used to wonder what my dad would’ve felt while raising me up. I am pretty sure, his purpose in life would’ve been to ensure, there is a never thing that is left unattended for me, not a thing that I ask is left ungiven. He would’ve been an inspiration for “Life is beautiful” movie had it been made in tamil. Not that my surroundings were concentration camps, but for the sheer effort he took in protecting us from the pressures and trials of outside world and never ever showing his internal turmoil’s out in open. He wanted to take up postal learning of a degree course and it never materialized. But he made sure I became the first degree holder from his side of the family. I never knew if he ever thought for himself on any other occasion but ensuring a good life for the family.  Was he like that since his younger days? I would doubt it. Coming from such a large family with lot more mouths to feed and having joined job at a very young age, he must've had lot more dreams about himself. But considering how he transformed, it felt as if a missing link just revealed itself. 

The purpose that've been thinking about all throughout was from a prism strongly focused on self. It was always about what I wanted to do and how it would enthral me. But the moment the focus got shifted to how other people can still become the purpose of my life, it opened a whole new dimension. Like mom, who cooks for the entire family, the tastiest of dishes. But doesn't have to eat every single morsel of it to enjoy it. At times, even when there is nothing left for her, the smile on the faces of the satisfied kid would mean more to her than a mouthful of the delicacy. Like Dan Brown's novels which are based on extraordinary queries with the simplest of answers, life at times stumps you at multiple levels,  Ithaya ithana naala theditrunthomnu!!! I guess, the lens for life is not convex or concave but a simple mirror which changes the image based on the focal point of the observer.