Adhavadhu..enna solla varenna

Sometime back, went for a lunch meet with friends after a really long while. I don’t exactly remember the last time I had such a leisure meet with friends, not because I had been busy but off late had been shutting off myself without even me realizing it. The frustrations in office had crept to such an extent that it had totally changed my psyche and made me so much negative and angry that, I was lashing out at every single opportunity, at anyone, be it family or office. There was nothing extraordinarily different or path breaking in that meeting that set to light this thought process, but the very normalcy of the event made me realize, how far from it, I was.
Whenever I read through my older blog posts, more often than not, I would be stumped by the thought process behind certain posts, on what was the trigger and many a times, I couldn’t even believe it was written by me as I would never be able to attain such a mindset to write such kind ever again. The person of that moment used to feel lost forever and I never used to ponder on the reason why, thinking that anyone would feel the same in such situations. But after this recent meeting I realized the very basic facet of life – you get to mirror the people around you. It might be a paradox in itself if each of us are a mirror, but not everyone are of the reflecting kind. From what I understand about myself, I tend to imitate/copy the people I spend time with the most and my personality or psyche at any point of time, is most probably not my own. I always consider myself as an empty container that looks out for personality to be imbibed. It sounds pretty lame an excuse to dump my mistakes on others and quite a convenient one at that. But how much ever I try to figure out, what is it that makes me, I always feel that, as against the Reebok motto, I am not what I am, but rather I am who others around me are!! Probably a living kicking example of the motto “show me your friends, I will tell you what kind of person you are”.
So, idhanal sollikolvathu ennavendral, athaagapattathu magajanangalay.. you better behave well and be good for gils sake J