Exams - Tense Present for a Perfect Future?

After a long time there was a decent topic on the "Neeya Naana" Chat show in Vijay TV - Exams and the associated stress. The kids spoke in an exceptionally matured tone and compared to their parents they sounded pretty confident and clear on their thoughts. More than their parents they had a better idea of what they need to do get good marks and more specifically as to what their parents were doing wrong in goading them towards getting more marks. How much ever the parents tried to justify their cause and the reason as to why they are pushing their kids towards marks, it still sounded hollow. It was quite paradoxical. Everyone know the reason behind the pressure and but everyone accepted it as a justifiable pressure, even though it sounded silly. To sound politically correct, they argued for a brief while that every child is unique and not every one can become topper. Still, the yearning for pride, the thought of seeking glory in their kids victory shone brightly on every parents eyes.

So, the nagging question - Who is responsible for this mindset and what causes it. I am not an expert in education. Nor did i get any good marks for that matter :) But i can understand the struggles of an underdog student and the pressure and shame faced by parents of such kids. The discrimination faced by such students in school, where they are herded into the designated section along with other such not so brights. The dreaded "P" word called partiality had ruined many a dream of my class mates i would say. Worse was the case of kids who by nature were demanding on themselves and often compared their performance with others and criticised themselves more so than others. For they were forever short on self confidence and there were very few people around to motivate them. Even their class topper friends would slowly leave their company, brainwashed by their parents. Every government school book carries the slogan that no one should discriminate against caste creed or sect. But the education system and mentality of people running the show does exactly that and more so forces the kids also to adhere to it.

I used to shiver at the thought of exams as a school going kid. Even now the word test or exam sends a slight shock wave from head to toe. But its not as scary as before. I've somehow lost the fear of that dreaded monster. When i think as to how i overcame it, only one thing comes to my mind. Nowadays i dont give a damn as to whether i pass or fail. The results dont bother me anymore. I had stopped comparing my scores with my peers. I dont feel happy when i "outshine" them nor do i feel depressed when i come a cropper. I have learnt to accept my potential and own my responsibility for my performance. In fact as an even better option, i take up only those things which entice me, thrill me to test my skills pitching against the best in business, those which make me happy to go through the rigours of competing, without the fear of failure. I apply the same philosophy even to my table tennis game and more often than not when i dont think about the scoreline, i often end up on the winning side :) Maybe, had i the same mentality and approach towards my studies i would've also topped my class, joined IIT and maybe would've been doing MS in some US university like my fellow class mates. But i would've missed out on all those learnings and pain which shaped my thoughts to spare a smile for those kids also who are not as bright as others. They may not be the best guy or gal in the class. But who knows, somewhere down the years, they might rant their heads off on their blogs to any poor soul bothering to read their posts on what a bad ass they were :)